I had an appointment yesterday with my Endocrinologist and he was so happy with my progress, as was I. So he decided that since I wasn’t having any major problems, he would increase my Estradiol up to its maximum dosage. And then he even said that instead of returning in three months, I could just come back in six months. Of course if I have any issues I could call and get in to see him sooner.
I am so happy that everything is progressing as well as it is. With all the things that are changing for the better, it just makes me feel I really should have said/done something sooner. But you can’t go back in time so I just keep looking toward the future.
Received my new ID card in the mail yesterday too, which was so nice. Hope my new Social Security card comes soon to so I can change my debit card information. It was so nice to hear them call my new name at my doctors yesterday instead of the old name.
OK, must get a quick nap and shower then off to my appointment with my counselor.
I woke up the other morning to find a large amount of direct messages sent to me and from me. I was shocked to see the amount that was being sent from all around. I know that because of me, even more people have become the victim of a phishing attack that I happened to fall victim too. You never think it would happen to you, you browse the Internet like you have for years and take all the normal steps that you have always used but sometimes even someone who has been successful at never falling for it, falls for it.
I really do apologize to those of you that became a victim to this phishing attack via me, I am really sorry about it. I will make sure that this never ever happens again, I promise.
OK, so I took a bit of time and decided to organize and reword a lot of my about page. I decided it needed to have a bit more of everything, so I tried to cover as much as I could. I know most about pages are supposed to be short and simple, but that just wouldn’t work for me. There is a lot about my past and a lot about my future, so I hope you all will understand. I tried to make it as easy as possible to follow but it still looks like it’s a bit too much to read.
Must get some sleep now, Endocrinologist appointment early in the morning. Hooray for getting an increase in hormones!
Last night, Feb 17 at 4:00pm PST, we had a knock at the door which happened to be a lady from our landlady’s church. She wanted to know if we had seen or heard from her in the past two days, which we hadn’t. The lady then proceeded to call the police to report what was going on. Since all the tenants had been alerted as to what was going on, we all gathered outside to try and figure out if she was ok or not.
She always has her curtains open in the front to get some sunlight in the house, but they were closed. Her door is always locked with at least 3 deadbolts on her door if she is leaving somewhere, they weren’t locked but the main lock was. We tried looking in her windows to see if we could see anything but to no avail as her curtains was sheer but not sheer enough.
As the automatic lights came on in her apartment, my dad tried to look in the window again. What he seen was a major shock to him as he broke down in tears and yelled “Oh My God, NO!!!” He noticed she was sitting on the couch as if she had just sat down to rest and fell asleep. He really didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but he feared the worst.
Eventually the fire department showed up and broke the window to gain access to her apartment. Upon entering and securing the scene, they told us all the bad news. She had passed, most likely in the past 24 hours. It was a very sad night indeed. The fire department completed their report and patched up the window as the police started their death investigation. The police had a really hard time trying to find any family to call as she is from Latvia and only has family in Canada. Eventually, the police reached a family member and was able to inform them as to what happened.
She was the nicest person you could ever meet, and she was a very close friend of the family. My dad and step-mom had moved into her building almost 18 years ago, and had become friends with her from the start. Over the years, dad had become her favorite handyman, doing anything she needed done and taking a bit off the rent in return. She was such an awesome woman in so many ways. She accepted me and even asked me to help her with a few things, which made me feel better too. She has helped us here lately in our financial issues by letting us skip a couple rent payments, bless her.
She will be in our hearts forever. She will certainly be missed.
No I am not dead and no I haven’t really given up on blogging or Twitter. I just took an unexpected long break from the computer for several reasons. One of which is the fact that I had so many changes to make and not much time in the limits I had set. Second, I am really getting tired of computers and they mostly just upset me here lately. I used to play video games for hours on end but that has all chenged here recently. Most of the reason being that my real life is much better now then it use to be so I don’t have to rely on games to make me feel better. I have to say though, that I still have had a few really down times here lately. Mostly due to this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and the need for social contact or more. As of right now, I still don’t have any friends except for the ones I have online. And that bothers me a lot, to think I spend everyday just doing what needs to be done with no socialization at all. I mean, I have my dad and step-mom to talk to but thats not like someone to really be a friend. I am trying so hard to get over my social anxiety disorder, but it is still not going as well as I had hoped for.
My counselor has been asking me a few more questions about my life and my history that really had caused me to feel even worse at times. Bringing up things in my past that I had tried to suppress for so many years. One of which is the constant denial of friends by my grandparents when I was growing up. I was never allowed to have friends because they always found something wrong with them and so I was forbidden to see/talk to them ever again. I spent pretty much all my life in my room and only got out to go to school or to try and spend a weekend or so with other family members. I would bring up things in my past that I had never really considered to be bad really, but my counselor would say that such and such is not normal and it’s not right. So then my mind would be constantly going over every second of my life and picking out those such moments. I was doing this till I was so depressed from the way my life had been, that I ended up seriously depressed yet again. But now I realize that I can’t and won’t keep that up, and I will just focus on the future and not look back on the bad times.
Just a note: I will be finishing my import of my old blog posts in the near future, hopefully tonight, so posts may show up from long ago in the timeline of my blog. Sorry
~Jen